Weirdo and Freak
by Helena Valentine
Summary: OC character, her name is Kim. She's confusing, and Abe's friend and person he talks to when they both get trapped in the hospital. hints of romance, but more of a friendship. No one cares, reads this, or reviews though. sad
1. Ch1,The Begining

Me: ok, this is my first Hellboy fic I actually wrote down. I've thought of others a lot, but never actually uh... typed... them. So this is really my first, and I'm telling you, I can't think of a way to begin it. I know what I'm going to do. And I must point out, this isn't really a romance. There will be little hints of romance I guess, but it's pretty much just a friendship fic that came into my head (without my permission, granted!) And I decided to get it out of there and onto uh... not paper, screen, but you get the idea... on with the story, sorry for the OOC ness.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellboy. Maybe if I try really hard... ehhhhhhhhhh... (hurts herself) ok, still not even close.

Hellboy let out an agonizing groan, the smoke he had just sucked in from his cigar billowing around him. Abe watched it curve around the glass of his tank and scratched the back of his head. "Well, at least I can't smell that." He mumbled to himself. Hellboy glared slightly at him.

Neither one of them was very happy today. This was another one of those prized days where the thought goes through their heads "This could only happen in my life." Some new recruit had found something about aliens in Egypt trying to call some monster by sacrificing human blood to the very hungry large stone sphinx, and of course this article had been taken completely seriously and they had been rushed over there to see.

"At least it had been easy to get in disguise." Abe thought. He was playing a stupid game he had learned from a stupid book he had read that he played whenever he had nothing better to do. He had read all the books he had brought, and quite frankly he wasn't in the mood to read about the great stone sphinx and monsters right now.

Hellboy let out another bored sigh, filling the room again with grey smoke. He glance over at the feeble looking new recruits. One of them had watering eyes, and seemed to be trying not to cough. The other one, a slightly stronger looking woman, turned suddenly to Hellboy, obviously annoyed. "Can you just put that out please?" she asked. She seemed to caught on every word, so the words came out dry like sandpaper.

Hellboy grinned slightly. "I'm so sorry, is it bothering you?" he asked. He let his eyes grow wide and his tail rise over his shoulder, blowing twin jets of smoke from his nose. Abe coughed slightly to keep from laughing. This pose normally frightened to new recruits, but just made the people who already knew Hellboy laugh. He looked up at the two "newsies."

The man with the watery eyes fell backwards the next time the bus his a bump in the road. The girl raised an eyebrow, but Abe suddenly felt a slight fear grow in her. However, he also felt a voice in her shouting how stupid it was to be afraid of a fat red monkey. He raised a nonexistent eyebrow, amused.

"You look like your constipated. Smoking will do that to you, I'm heard." she said. Then she went into a slight coughing fit again.

"You-" Hellboy said, pretending to look threatening, he was angry, and a little surprised as well as amused.

The bus suddenly lurched forwards. Hellboy, being as graceful as he is, imediotly fell down onto the floor and began sliding. Abe felt the water in his tank shift. People on the bus grabbed onto things, but the bus turned this time as it went down a hill, and to everyone, everything went dark.

Ok, one other thing I forgot to mention. The Kim you read about in this story is not the Kim from the comic books. This is Kimala, my own invention. And yes, Kimala is a name. Ok, well, how did you like it? Honest opinion, please. Though this isn't really anything. Just sort of an introductery chapter. Give me advice, and complain about me in a reveiw, please!


	2. Ch2,A Softer Voice

Me: warning: fluffy fluffy chapter. Short chapter. Awkward, sort of badly written chapter. (Now I feel like crap... sob)

Abe awoke with a start. He had that, sick, dizzy feeling you get after you wake up from being knocked out. If people think it's hard to get dizzy while floating in water, they're wrong. The floating in water part just helps the dizziness. Abe reached his hands up. He was in one of the small water filled tubes, the ones they put him in while he was in the Organization's hospital. However when he tried to lift to "lid" off of the container, he felt a sharp pain throb on his side. He reached his hand over and felt stitches.

"You shouldn't try to lift your arms up. You just had a large piece of glass stuck in your side and they stitched up the gaping wound. It will probably hurt."

The voice came through the speakers as a gentle, sleepy mumble. It was a soft voice that sounded as though each word was tasted on the tongue before it left the lips. It seemed to come out in a sigh, like words do when you're half asleep.

Abe looked down, taken aback he had forgotten to "sense" if anyone was in the room, like he normally does when he first wakes up. Especially when he was in a hospital tank with a 'gaping wound' pain in his side. At first glance, the creature on the hospital cot on the other side of the room seemed completely unfamiliar. There was a large white bandage covering half her face and a white eye cover up rested on the left eye. Her bottom lip was split and swelling, and one tooth was gone while the other was chipped. The head had been shaved on one side and there were large dark stitches. A neck brace rested tightly on her neck.

Abe blinked, a clear eyelid slowly sliding over each eye from the side. "What... happened?" He asked. He blinked again and remembered the bus tilting over.

"An accident. By the way, your tank on the bus, seemed a good idea at the time. But it broke on both of us. Not really something I'm happy about right now."

She spoke slower this time, and blinked slowly her only visible eye. He noticed a spot of blood beside the eyepatch.

"The other new guy, Johnson or something. He was already running when Hellboy made that face. So he just got knocked out. I think Hellboy was fine. Not really sure though." The girl grinned slightly, showing the two holes. It sort of looked like a wince. "Not really a good thing for me. First day on the job as a doctor and I end up as a patient." She let out a soft laugh. A simple "huh huh." that sounded almost sing song.

There was a long pause where she said nothing, and Abe watched her. Her eye flitted closed for an instant, and he felt a wave of tiredness pass over her.

"My name's Kimala by the way. People call me Kim though, because Kimala a weird name. And you're... Thomas Jefferson of some other president, right?"

"Aberham Lincoln. Well, that's not my name... I'm Abe Sapiens really."

She grinned slightly. She looked pretty, he suddenly realized, even if she was beat up with a half shaved head an eye patch chipped teeth and thousands of bruises. It was a strange, foreign kind of beauty. Like an old dirty book that contains Emily Dickinson poems. She fell asleep and then a doctor came in to check on them.

Me: not a romance! remember! I might add I almost drowned from the fluffiness of this chapter. And yes, I know it's short. Trust me, they will get longer. Probably too long. But it's just a slow beginning. I admit there are a lot of hints of romance in this story, but I really only ever planned on having it be a friendship. They talk about funny things and serious things throughout the story, and that sounds boring but it's really not. I admit this story's not one of my best but I honestly don't think I'm bragging when I say this story is not boring. Even if it seems that way now... ok, well give me your opinions!


	3. this sucks, read better things

Ok, no one likes this, i give up. even i admit this story sucks. i couldn't even read through it, so i don't know who i'm writing this part of the chapter to. If you are reading though, read Thelodus. it's probably not good advratising to say to read it in this story, but i'm going to anyway. only three chapters and i still have five reviews. which means at least people care enough about it to review, and i love writing it, unlike this, which was a drag to write. it's simple, all the bad fanfiction for Hellboy writing i have in me went to this story and all the good fanfiction writing skills i aparently possess some of went into writing Thelodus. this makes perfect sense, by the way. it says there might be Abe/OC, but i'm still not sure. there's going to be a great story behind that one though. and i thought up the villian of that story in a really well thought out nightmare. just give it a chance, and me a chance to prove all my writing is not as bad as this. if you hate it, tell me in detail why. i love being told what's bad about my writing, in a well thought out well written way. really. well, bye.

H. Valentine


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